19 December 2005

Leaving an abusive... state?

This is the kind of story that keeps me awake nights...

"The way Virginia is treating us, what they are saying to us, I feel like it's being in an abusive house," Tibby says.

"I'm saying, let's get out of this house."

As A. and I head into our 40s (me) and our 50s (him), I find myself worrying about this more and more. (Georgia's voters amended our constitution in 2004 with an evil amendment similar to Virginia's). We have wills and power of attorney for each other, but as the article points out, a judge COULD decide those are invalid if they're too much like a "benefit of marriage."

What then? What if one of us dies, and then a judge declares our wills invalid? The remaining partner could end up battling some member of the other one's family who wants to claim ownership of our house. Etc etc... there's no shortage of nightmare scenarios I can imagine, though I try not to.

Moving to another state isn't really an option for us at this stage, both because of our jobs, and our family commitments. (We own my mom's home, and are pretty much her whole support system.) But like I said, it keeps me awake at night sometimes wondering what harm and heartache our home state might do to us in the name of "protecting marriage."


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